Wednesday, July 12, 2006
no one shouted stop
We were hungry and happy in the fields
But fled for factories where we were fed and frustrated
And no one shouted stop.
Our children played by the river
But we put them into schools to be bullied
And no one shouted stop.
We had large families that had little
But then had little families who had everything
And no one shouted stop.
We were lazy and idle and had time for our kids
But became busy and scheduled and made no time for our kids
And no one shouted stop.
We had nothing but lovingly gave our kids what we had,
We got everything, gave it all to our kids except love
And no one shouted stop.
We worked long and hard and still made time
We worked long and hard and had no time
And no one shouted stop.
Our houses were small but felt like home
Our houses were large and felt like hotels
And no one shouted stop.
We hit our children but did not hate them
We do not hit them but act like we hate them
And no one shouted stop.
We had shorter lives fully lived
but now have longer lives largely unlived
And no one shouted stop.
This is quite rantish and has not been subject to my normal intense editing. It doesn't quite reflect what I believe, I am not so nostalgic or pessimistic. In spite of this I decided to 'put it out there' just to see what people think. Apologies to John Healy but I am sure he would appreciate the fighting tone of the piece.
For more information ...
john healy
preshaa
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5 comments:
i like it how it does, if you overedit it i think you are in danger of losing its power.
I think it probably could do with a little editing but in my experience sometimes overediting can quench the emotive power of a piece as fivespice suggests.
Like most things in life we have to strive for balance, in this case balance between a raw visceral quality and a lyric musical quality is what I should strive for.
Maybe I wil give it a shot.
Sometimes I think we all should have the wherewithal to shout stop...
Ok, I will try and edit and repost, keeping watching but it may be a wekk or two.
wekk? Ok! I really must try that editing thing!
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