gone, gone, gone

From six months ago, anger then, just a resdiual feeling now ...

Driving to my last day of work I played this track from the Alison Krauss and Robert Plant album 'Raising Sand'.

The line 'gone, gone, gone, coz you done me wrong' seemed appropriate.

Glad to be gone. Now let's move on.


For more information ...
raising sand

peek and boo look for work

Somewhere in this land. Early morning. A tree around which two swallows dance in flight. Enter Peek.

Peek: (Shouts) Do you believe in me? (Waits for a few seconds, listening, listens again, wait for a few more seconds, then exits.)

Enter Boo.

Boo: (Shouts) Do you believe in me? (Waits for a few seconds, listening, listens again, wait for a few more seconds.)

Enter Peek.

Peek: I thought someone responded.

Boo: To who?

Peek: To me, who else

Boo: You're not the only one.

Peek: I know that, there would be no problem if I was.

Boo: It could have been to me.

Peek: So there was a response then?

Boo: Not to you!

Peek: To you?

Boo: No, not to anyone. Not from anyone.

Peek: Having you been looking for long?

Boo: Too long and yet not long enough.

Peek: I know that feeling, it's not even the work itself you look for after a while.

Boo: No? It is for me, what more does a man need.

Peek: Yes, but there is something else also, that feeling of belonging and worth.

Boo: I just need the bread.



(Light moves across the stage.)

Peek: Oh! There might be some life here.

Boo: There might be, who knows?

Peek: Ah! Something will turn up, it always does.

Boo: Does it?

Peek: Eventually, yes.

Boo: Eventually, (pause), yes.

Peek: The start, you know, that is all we need.

Boo: Yes, but why does it feel like the end to me.

Peek: That'll be you and your misery.

Boo: And you and your misery, what does it feel like?

Peek: Ah! To hell with yeah! I think there is some life around here yet.

(Light moves across the stage.)

Peek: See, there you go, it could be the start.

Boo: Oh, it'll be the start alright, shall we try again?

Peek: Ok, that's the lad, I'll go first.

(Peek moves forward stage three steps, waits, looks around, waits some more.)

Peek: (Shouts) Do you believe in me?

(Waits for a few seconds, listening, listens again, wait for a few more seconds. Boo moves forward stage three steps, waits, looks around, waits some more.)

Boo:(Shouts) Do you believe in me?

(Waits for a few seconds, listening, listens again, wait for a few more seconds.)

Peek: I thought there was something there, like a low hum, a reassuring sound, an engine just ticking over perhaps or the fan in an oven.

Boo: Or a heavy door closing, or a book. Yes, that was it, a heavy book closing, a big one, mind you, one of importance.

Peek: Will we try again?

Boo: We will. We will try again, what else is there to do?

Fade to black.


For more information ...
peek and boos discuss optimism
peek and boo discuss the simple life
peek and boo discuss life and meaning
peek and boo discuss thought and action
peek and boo discuss existentialism
peek and boo discuss writing
peek and boo discuss god
peek and boo discuss power

not falling but flying

Nobody heard him, the mad man,
But still he was groaning:
I was stretching more than you thought
And not falling but flying.

Poor sod, he always liked fooling
And now he is falling
It must have been too hard for him to stick to the regular job
They said.

Oh, no no no, he was always too high anyways
(Still the mad one lay groaning)
I stretched too far all my life
And not falling but flying.

Apologies to Stevie Smith.


A sort of inverted interpretation of Stevie Smith's poem. It doesn't quite add up but still it seemed quite apt at the moment.

For more information
Not waving but drowing
icarus

if you go down to the woods today

I went with my son for a two hour walk in a woods close to our home recently and in the spirit of 'giving something back' I decided to pick up any rubbish I came across.
Below is just a selection of what I gathered.

Pieces of plastic, some domestic in nature presumably from other walkers, some from fertilizer bags from the adjacent farmland.

Yuck! tissues.

The mentality of someone who has finished with a lighter or battery and decides to throw it away astounds me. Presumably the sunglasses len was lost accidentally whilst walking.
Of course, it is crucial to keep hydrated when hiking!

Oh yes! and keep your energy levels up with some sweeties!

Transparent plastic is easily missed but not when there is lots of it thrown about.

The brown plastic thing is a protective cover for saplings that have been planted, it does a useful job but it too in the end becomes litter. The other stuff is some aluminum foil and wire.

Orange peel will decompose within a 2 year time frame but the yellow balloon and green tennis ball a dog has chewed will take longer.

Oh yes! Did I mention that if you walking make sure to keep hydrated something with lots of sugar should do the trick!

If you go down to the woods today, don't mess it up!

For more information ...
magog trust

recommended reading

Here, in descending order, are my top recommendations from my 2007 reading.

1. Jimmy Corrigan, the smartest kid on earth by Chris Ware
find out more here
"the best graphic novel I have read, some of the pictures present complex familial histories in a way I have never seen before, a great central character and depth of emotion"

2. Agile Estimating and Planning.
find out more here
"a great and hugely pragmatic book for those looking to adopt an agile method for software development"

3. Imperium by Robert Harris
find out more here
"an easy but gripping read with a powerful attention to detail that brings life to ancient Rome"

4. The China Study by Dr. T. Colin Campbell
find out more here
"comprehensive, clear and good science that makes for a convincing argument regarding nutrition"

In 2005 just one work of fiction made it into my top 5, last year it was three, in 2007 it falls back to two. In 2007 I read 28 books (13 fiction, 16 non fiction) [2006-35 books(19 fiction, 16 non-fiction), 2005-35 books (5 fiction, 30 non-fiction)].

Of the 28 I read this year 6 were graphic novels so overall my reading has reduced a little and the amount of fiction I have read has increased also, both good things.



Complete 2007 reading list ...
Listed below are the books I read in 2007, books in bold type may also be worth a look.

Flashman in the great game - George MacDonald Frazier
The Acme Novelty Library Vol. 16 - Chris Ware
Quimby the Mouse - Chris Ware
The Acme Novelty Library - Chris Ware
Ice Haven - Daniel Clowes
The Acme Novelty Library Vol. 17 - Chris Ware
How to Haiku - Bruce Ross
Presense - Peter Senge, C. Otto Scharmer, Joespeh Awonski, Betty-Sue Flowers
The Great Learning - Master Nan Huai Chin
Pompeii - Robert Harris
The 10 minute coach - Fiona Harris
5 Myths of Consumer Behaviour - Csaba Tarnai
The manual of the warrior of light - Paulo Coelho
The inmates are running the asylum - Alan Cooper
The Coaching Bible - MacDonald Jago
Pilgrimage: Adventures of the Spirit - Editied by Jean & James O'Reilly
Happiness: Lessons from a new science - Richard Layaard
The illustrated encyclopedia of Buddhist Wisdom - Gill Farmer Halls
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching - Aldis & Lombardo
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
You can heal your life - Louise L Hay
Can do, how to achieve personal change and growth - Ben Tiggelaar
The Devil and Miss Prym - Paulo Coelho
The form of things - A.C. Grayling
Veronkia Decide to die - Paulo Coelho
The Valkyries - Paulo Coelho
The Zahir - Paulo Coelho
The 3 signs of a miserable job - Patrick Lencioni
Round Ireland with a Fridge - Tony Hawkes


For more information ...
2006 recommended reading
2005 recommended reading

resignation

As a plough breaking up the sods of earth
and the hopper dropping a seed into the furrow.
Or as a knife plunging into flesh
and the blood spurting upon its return.
So I have looked for such significance.

An action pregnant with consequence
and birthing a new and different future.
Something other, something different,
not now, not ever been before.
The great expectation, the fulfilled promise of many a thought before sleeping
or before an unscratched lottery card.

I always thought there would be more but there is not,
life is, as it appears to be and no more.

Or is it?

In spite of our creation and wandering
for 70 or 7 million years
only the corner of the canvas remains blotted.
The vastness is untouched by most
and yet there are those who reach with brush and paint a great swathe.
And there are those who splash their color upon the ready and waiting whiteness.

Can I?

Pick up the plough, the knife or the paint brush
and stretch out into the future of my making.

The seed will grow, the blood will spill and in the end,
as always, the paint will dry.



--------------------------------------------------------------
Written in 20 minutes with probably 5 minutes of editing. An experiment in writing something inspired by my recent resignation from my job.

I have no job to go to but I would rather uncertainty in a future of my own making than certainty in a future that is not what I want.

A fool? perhaps.

a day in the life

As before I have decided to capture the mundane and banal from a typical working day.

Taking public transport to work is not an option as I work in the country side, so each morning it is into the car to drive over the flint.

My way to work takes me through the village we live in

and past the fields that will be full of rapeseed come next summer.

We live in East Anglia which is quite flat and there are still a few functioning windmills

before arriving at the business park a few miles outside Cambridge where I work.

And as at my work in Canada there is a needless obsession with security.

I have a window although the view is not of the rockies,
I can see rabbits from my window.

During lunch I go for a walk which takes me through
the rest of the business park which was a former psychiatric hospital.

There is a nice tree lined avenue which probably was
planted in the early 1900's and may have been designed for the patients.

How many troubled men and women have walked this way,
on many days in the last year they have been joined by one more.

For more information ...
a day in the life

the promise of technology

A brand is a promise, we expect something to be delivered. The Apple brand promises ease of use, slick design and something fashionable. The Microsoft brand promises something compatible and something known.

If we think of technology in it broadest sense, what is the promise of the 'technology brand'? Does it deliver something shiny, new, faster and better? When I take a step back and ask myself has technology delivered on its promise? When I ask myself do I still believe in the 'technology brand'? The evidence would suggest that delivering on the promise of technology is the exception and not the rule.

My PC still boots up in the same amount of time it did 10 years ago. My email experience is broadly similar, my word processing and Internet experience has improved a little.



Today the iPhone launched in the UK and Germany. My crystal ball prediction on June 19th of this year when the iPhone launched in the US was

'Final verdict, before the introduction of the iPod/iTunes Apple were not in the music distribution business, today they are the 5th largest supplier of music worldwide. The iPhone is over priced and over hyped but a key benefit of the iPhone is ego gratification. I think we will see Apple move into the mobile phone space but perhaps not have the 70% market share it does in the MP3 space.'

Today I think much the same but I would add, perhaps cynically, that the marketing machine will be increasingly needed to continue to sell the promise for value that does not get delivered.

Research into people's PC usage reveals the top activities are browsing, email and word processing. Other research reveals that people's criteria for purchase of a PC is centered around functionality they infrequently use like digital video and photo editing. Imagine a person needing a family car ignoring the seat capacity and focusing instead on how fast it goes from 0 to 60mph.

The marketing can be fun, the products can be shiny but, please, just give me technology that does the basics brilliantly.


For more information ...
iPhone

labyrinth 2

We walked this 'turf maze' in Hilton, Cambridgeshire today. Once again the labyrinth follows the Chartres pattern and is a simple labyrinth anyone could probably make in their garden.

This one was created by William Sparrow in 1660 when he was 19 to commemorate the restoration of Charles II to the throne of England.



For more information ...
labyrinth
labyrinth society

remote but no control

For many years now remote controls have frustrated me as they don't help me. Yes, I can change channel, turn the sound up or down, mute the sound, see the guide but once I leave these basic functions usability not only degrades it disappears.

How do I record a program onto a vcr or hard drive? How do I do a timer record, How can I watch one program and record another? How do I make timer recordings of all the upcoming Heroes episodes. The equipment I have is capable of this, but the 'remote', my interface with the system makes it unusable.

I suspect I am not alone in my frustration. This is not just a problem for the aged, this is a 'pain in the ass' for most people. The major companies associated with TV and other related devices have let us down in a way we would not tolerate from other technology providers and the battle line is the remote.

For me the main problems of the remote relate to some basic functions associated with recording.

• record something that is on now but that I am not watching
• record something that is on later that I wont' be watching
• record something that is on now and that I am watching
• record a series of programs

In fact, really number 1 and 2 are of most interest to me.

Pictured above are the last three remotes I owned, from left to right they have 53, 47 and 53 button (a button that has an up and down function I count as two). That is more controls than most cars and yet the functions I really want are limited.

1. change channel
2. turn sound up, down or off
3. see the guide, scroll through it and select an item (I don't even need info as the guide provides that)
4. record something that is on now but that I am not watching
5. record something that is on later that I may or may not be watching
   
6. record something that is on now and that I am watching
7. record a series of programs

Surely someone can design a better remote to just perform these functions. Maybe Apple should take this challenge on. The iPod and iPhone seems to have simple interfaces to relatively complex functionality, how about the iRemote? Here is my design constructed in 20 minutes.

• To change the channel, press prog and use the scroll like on an iPod, this will scroll through the channels.
• To turn sound up or down press vol and use the scroll like on a iPod, to mute press vol and then OK.
• To see the guide, press guide, scroll using the scroll bar, getting the idea? and then select the program to watch by pressing OK.
  
• To record something that is on now, press guide, scroll to the program then press rec. Then an on screen menu should ask if you want to (a) record and watch, (b) record but watch something else (c) record all programs in the series. Use the scroll and OK to select the appropriate option.
  
• To record something that is on later press guide, scroll to the program then press rec. Then an on screen menu should prompt asking if you want to (a) record and watch later (this would automatically change to this channel when the program starts), (b) record but watch something else later (c) record all programs in the series. Use the scroll and OK to select the appropriate option.
• To record something that is on now and that I am watching, press rec.
• Recording a series of programs was taken care of by the above.

This is just an illustration not a solution. There are other functions to consider, such as text, favorites, live pause, etc., but these are I believe secondary considerations.

Surely someone out there should have invented a better remote and given us back control!

no words

chocolate gorilla

That old marketing adage, 'you don't sell the sausage, you sell the sizzle', always seems applicable when looking at adverts that seem to capture the imagination without flaunting the product.

In the example below a feeling is created and as with most advertising I don't necessarily want to go out and buy the product but Cadbury's have captured some of my attention. The distinctive purple color is used on the background and I think the contemplative nature of the piece is meant to evoke satisfaction and indulgence offered by the product but chocolate is only illustrated at the start and end.

But a key question remains, do I feel like buying some chocolate or a Phil Collins album? Mmmm, ok! I think I fancy a dairy milk.

For more information ...
cadbury
cadbury on wikipedia
gorilla

labyrinth

A labyrinth is quite distinct from a maze, it does not confuse the walker it guides them. There is a single path through the labyrinth and a single path out. Whilst it does not promote confusion, it certainly promotes thought.

(Calgary labyrinth based on the Chartres Cathedral labyrinth)

In the labyrinth you often seem near the centre when in fact you are far away and when you seem far away a few steps brings you quite close to the centre. The labyrinth is an unfolding journey, as you walk you get to know the labyrinth in a way beyond seeing it.

There is a well developed connection between the labyrinth and religion, many churches feature the labyrinth even though it predates Christianity and transcends western culture. The symbolism is evident and often exploited, 'there is but one path that leads to god', etc.

(Labyrinth at Ely Cathedral)

The practice of walking a labyrinth provides an occasion for reflection similar to that of kinhin, the walking meditation of Zen Buddhism or the stations of the cross in Catholicism. The Celts in Ireland used the word turas for a journey of a spiritual nature, they too depicted labyrinths.

Today I walked an unusual labyrinth at Ely Cathedral with my mother, a nice journey to share together.


For more information ...
labyrinth
kinhin
lough derg
ely cathedral

more monkey than monk 2

I have been trying some breathing exercises recently to calm my mind which due to a stressful work situation is more active than ever. The 'monkey mind' is chattering away.

I inhale through my nostrils for a count of 4, then hold for a count of 2, then exhale through my mouth for a count of 4 and dwell in the quite space after exhalation for a count of 2. Repeat 40 times and it usually changes my heart rate by between 10-20 beats per second.

(photo by marc shandro)

These photos are by a good friend in Canada whom I shared great conversations with on the topics of distractions and awareness. I miss my friends in Canada but in some sense because I am thinking of them I still feel connected, if only a little.

(photo by marc shandro)

For more information ...
marc shandros photos
flickr
more monkey than monk

the way

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.
Lao Tzu (570-490 B.C.)

When I let go of what I am,
I become what I might be.
Lao Tzu (570-490 B.C.)

For more information ...
Lao Tzu

where go the boats

(source: Henry W Taunt)

Dark brown is the river.
Golden is the sand.
It flows along for ever,
With trees on either hand.

Green leaves a-floating,
Castles of the foam,
Boats of mine a-boating—
Where will all come home?

On goes the river
And out past the mill,
Away down the valley,
Away down the hill.

Away down the river,
A hundred miles or more,
Other little children
Shall bring my boats ashore

Robert Louis Stevenson, from A Child's Garden of Verses, 1885.

I have made my own tune for this poem and have sung this to Tomas at night since he was born. We talk about this as been one of the 'old songs' and when I ask does he want one of the 'old songs', he says yes.

For more information ...
robert louis stevenson

an attempt at writing something positive

(photo: trace project, nasa)

light not heavy
now not then
air not earth
less not more
music not song
pictures not words
feeling not thinking
giving not taking
here not there
quiet not loud
we not I

sleep walking

all your life you have been sleep walking wandering in a dream all your days faking it for real now through the fog you stumble and wake upon an unknown shore feet unsteady and uncomfortable feeling it for real looking around the unfamiliar landscape no landmarks to guide you and then you look down at your feet and wonder

?where have you been?where are you?where will you go?

warrior of light

Repeated experiences have but one aim, to teach us what it is we do not want to learn.
- adapted from Paulo Coelho.



For more information ...
Paulo Coelho

be

Be friendly
Be polite
Be vocal
Be quite
Be the change you want to see in the world

Be real
Be authentic

Be thoughtful

Be passionate

Be excited

Be calm

Be willing to change

Be yourself